its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Randomize
