yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
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