Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
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