I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize