Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
