so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
