oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Randomize
