yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Randomize
