Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
