hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Randomize
