you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
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