A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Randomize