i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
