First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
