New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
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