Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
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