So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Randomize
