Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
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