i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Randomize
