I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
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