No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
why do cheetos always look like penises
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
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