Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Randomize
