you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
the day after is always just damage control
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Randomize
