Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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