This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
you made out with another girl for some wings
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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