I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
