are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Randomize
