Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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