are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Randomize
