TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Randomize
