Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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