Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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