my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
