I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
