I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Randomize
