well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
