Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
