Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
it's like iHOP with fire
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Randomize
