Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
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