My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
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