you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
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