it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Randomize
