i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Randomize
