Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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