how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
