this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Randomize
