I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Randomize
