Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
