Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
