what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Randomize
