I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
