this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
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