we have pet lesbian snakes
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
