I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Randomize
