I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
