But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
