Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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