I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
