it wasn't lemon gatorade
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize
